if i were a gardener, and i watered every plant in my garden just a little bit, they would all die. and that’s why the word no is leaving my mouth now more than it ever has.
as human beings, focus is the one lever we have.
success in anything isn’t guaranteed, but if you focus your attention on something for long enough success is usually just a matter of time. my parents were never happier in their marriage than they were the day after i left for college. why? they had to reprioritize each other. but the flip side of this is giving less attention to the things that are cool, and interesting, but not as important as a life partner.
when i have to say no, it feels like i’m turning down an opportunity to be my best self by helping someone, or by going through with a great opportunity. but i have to reframe that. what i’m really doing is reaffirming my yes to the things that matter so much to me that i won’t jeopardize them by being mentally overbooked.
the way that i people please is with my attention, but i’m learning to fight that. learning not to see every demand on my time and attention as a call that i either succeed or fail to respond to.
if i were a gardener, and i watered every plant in my garden just a little bit, they would all die. you cannot be everything to everyone. acknowledging that is limiting, but it’s freeing too.